Today I found out (though I suppose I should have realized this all along) that John and I have no rights concerning the baby while at the hospital. Until the baby is discharged, or until 72 hours have passed, we are visitors. Needless to say, we would need the birthmother's permission in order to feed the baby donor breastmilk. Her social worker (who works for our agency) feels like this may be getting her too involved in decision making concerning the baby and we would be better to play it safe and let the hospital do it's thing. When explained that way, I suppose it makes sense. There are so many conflicting feelings at play during an adoption. I am making choices in the hopes that those choices will prevent the birthmom from bonding with this baby. Even the birthmom's social worker technically works for me. Also, I learned that we only get a room at the hospital if there is a room available. If not, we are limited to visiting hours! Even if we have a room, the social worker said we can spend time with the baby when the birthmom is not with her. What does THAT mean??? Is the birthmom wanting to spend time with the baby? I got nervous when the social worker said this, but she assured me that the birthmom is still 100% about the adoption. It still fills me with fear.
So the adoption agency let slip the gender of the baby:/ We are having a girl:) Also, it seems that I have begun to produce milk. I have not been trying, nevertheless, it is happening...perhaps my hormonal response to everything that is happening? It is not unheard of in an adoptive mother. I think it would be foolish of me not to take advantage of this opportunity. I will rent a pump from the hospital and see what I can produce in the next couple of weeks. Who knows?
Natasha, I have heard that a woman can produce milk even if she has not given birth, but I don't know of anyone who has done it. I am so glad to hear that it's working for you! Did you need to take hormones to induce lactation? Good luck with the pumping. Even if the pumping doesn't work out, you can still have the baby nurse, and that may induce lactation a lot better than the pump. Even though I've never had any issues nursing my babies, pumping has always been very slow and not very productive for me... in my experience, a baby is a lot more efficient at getting at the milk than a pump.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I can't wait for your next update!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree about pumping...I know that Dryden is getting enough breastmilk because he is "thriving." However, if I judged how much milk I was producing on what I can pump, I would never think it was sufficient. Nursing is more natural, so you are more relaxed; and that has a big effect on letdown, flow, etc.
Great, I can only post a comment on my blog while on internet explorer...I can't use Firefox! Technology is a pain in the ass! Anyhow, Thanks for the advice ladies!
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