Oh so much work:/

Ahhhh....Adoption is so much work! All I want to do is go out and buy baby stuff like pregnant people do:( Our homestudy has been officially complete for a few weeks now but the work never ends. Our agency wants us to work with 2 other out of state agencies (since there are very few babies available in CT). We chose an agency in Utah and have yet to choose our second one. The agency fees are $18,000-40,000, which does not include travel, etc. Our CT agency asked us to make 3 copies of our adoption album, one for them and the two others for the two other agencies. As it turns out, our album is too big (we made it 12x12) for the agency in Utah....they want FOUR copies of an 81/2 x 11 album, all laminated and spiral bound. Argh...after all that work:( So, last night I spent a few hours making a proper sized album that I don't like nearly as much as our originals. Now I have to bring it to staples to have it color photo copied, laminated and bound into 4 copies...which I expect to cost a fortune! In addition, we have a shit-load of paperwork to do for the new agency. AND we still have to choose a third agency:/ We really liked an agency we found in Texas but they require medical documentation of inability to conceive. Apparently, inability to carry a child is not enough. We found one we liked in Mississippi but they have not returned our calls in a timely manner...which is not a good sign. This is why people adopt from overseas.

I know we'll get through all of this stuff and it will all be worth it in the end, but some days it feels very unfair. I recently found out that another of my friends is pregnant and I just broke down and cried. I know life is not fair and I am pretty certain that there is no greater plan out there...you take the hand you are dealt and make it work the best you can. I'm learning to limit the self-pity. I have had many difficulties throughout my life but many people have experienced far worse. I am thankful to have been born with so much strength (thanks mommy). I also have so much to be grateful for....mostly that I have had the freedom and ability to live my life based on my principles and priorities. So, that being said, I can say that I work hard for what I have...which makes me appreciate what I have that much more. I can say that I will never take my (eventual) children for granted...they are too hard to come by!

Now, while I have some free time, I'm going to go out and buy some baby stuff like pregnant people do:)